Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

Paul Theroux visited US southern states in four seasons. I was very impressed by how he could approach strangers, connect with them and discover the stories from them.

As New York Times Book Review said “Theroux’s eye for landscape remains as sharp as ever . . . It’s Theroux’s remarkable gift for getting strangers to reveal themselves that makes going  along for this ride worthwhile.”

Yes, in my own travel, I would never go into a gun-shop to strive for a conversation, or go to churches in the america back roads, or drink with native american veteran... It’s worth watching how he approaches people from all walks and listen to the stories.

Published on September 29, 2015, this book is pretty recently. Yet, it’s a bit hard to believe what happened in his trip is recent and it’s in US, the same country where I live. No wonder Mr Trump’s making america great again touched so many people in those states. OK. More specifically, the back roads, deep south, he traveled, seemed poor and hopeless.

While I believe his stories, and believe poverty and hopeless live in the US, I still have subtle doubt about how “typical” his encounters are. The photos by Steve McCurry seem convincing enough, but again, are those “typical”.

The right to read his book is probably: believe what he encountered, imagine this type of life. Not to judge how “typical” those stories are. Not feel depressed because such type of life still exist. They always exist. Read them as stories. Observe how Paul weaves history with real person accounts, covers wide range of topics: indian owned motels , philanthropist supported schools, native america. Absorb the novelty of all the small stories and how they adds to the texture of the places traveled.

Paul Theroux is definitely a seasoned traveler and travel writer. I felt sad that I discovered him in 2016, not earlier. I also felt lucky that I discovered him in 2016, not 2066. :) Will read more books by him.

A few highlights:

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 144 | Location 2492-2494 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 7:01:54 PM

“Look at this,” he said. “Feel it. I was a weaver by trade, made cloth right here. But they closed the mills and sent the jobs overseas. So there’s nothing here anymore. Now check out this label—see? ‘Made in Vietnam.’ And look what the hat says, ‘Combat Veteran,’ and that there is my vet facility.”

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 153 | Location 2633-2635 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 7:23:46 PM

People who dealt with guns were generally talkers, I’d learned. Usually they had a gripe with the government and strong views on neighbors or crime, and felt put-upon and slighted. A man with a weapon was a man with something on his mind. So I parked and went in.

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 160 | Location 2763-2765 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 7:44:47 PM

“A certain ethnic group becomes entrenched in a clearly identifiable economic sector, working at jobs for which it has no evident cultural, geographical or even racial affinity.” It’s also known as “occupational clustering,” like the Korean-owned deli in New York or, in the England that I knew, the Greek-owned fish-and-chips shop.

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Note on page 164 | Location 2821 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 7:56:01 PM

how he connects with people to get deeper understating about the place.

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 164 | Location 2817-2821 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 7:56:02 PM

“So what’ll I do?” I said, just to provoke him. And it worked so well I was sorry for my insincerity, because the man looked pained on my behalf. “I know. You off the grid. You really need one in these parts. Me, I wouldn’t drive around here without one.” “But it all looks beautiful to me.” “They’s some strange places here. God, I only wish I could help.”

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Note on page 167 | Location 2886 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 8:06:15 PM

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 167 | Location 2882-2886 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 8:06:15 PM

I thought I had misheard. Surely this was impossible. I queried the date. “Correct—1850.” So Booker T. Washington (1856–1915) was younger than Reverend Lyles’s grandfather. “My grandfather wasn’t born here, but he came here. He remembered slavery. He told us all about it. I was thirteen years old when he passed. I was born in 1934. He would have been in his nineties. Work it out—he was ten years old in 1860. Education wasn’t for blacks then. He lived slavery. Therefore his name was that of his owner, Lyles, and he was Andrew Lyles. Later on, he heard stories about the Civil War, and he told them to me.”

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Note on page 170 | Location 2922 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 8:10:50 PM

many quotations like this to add support.

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 170 | Location 2921-2922 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 8:10:50 PM

Erskine Caldwell wrote in Deep South: Memory and Observation, his 1966 book-length essay on Southern churches—his own father was an itinerant preacher—“

==========

Deep South: Four Seasons on Back Roads (Theroux, Paul)

- Your Highlight on page 171 | Location 2942-2943 | Added on Wednesday, December 28, 2016 8:14:51 PM

I needed solitude to transcribe my notes and conversations into description and dialogue. I did not use a tape recorder.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

The structure of the book is

• The philosophy of observing: e.g. do not judge too soon.
• What to observe?
• The mechanics of observing.

The title include “how to” so it sounds like it should cover the 3rd part. In fact, the 3rd part is the shortest.

The author used somewhat a poetic language with a lot of parallel sentences. Once I got used to his style of writing, it’s not too hard to read.

- Your Note on page 10 | Location 157 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:31:23 AM

not to generalize too soon.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 10 | Location 155-157 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:31:23 AM

Abject thinkers, passive readers, adopt his words; parents repeat them to their children; and townspeople spread the judgment into the villages and hamlets—the strongholds of prejudice; future travellers see according to the prepossessions given them, and add their testimony to the error, till it becomes the work of a century to reverse a hasty generalization. It

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 11 | Location 167-170 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:32:36 AM

As long as travellers continue to neglect the safe means of generalization which are within the reach of all, and build theories upon the manifestations of individual minds, there is little hope of inspiring men with that spirit of impartiality, mutual deference, and love, which are the best enlighteners of the eyes and rectifiers of the understanding. Above all things, the traveller must not despair

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 11 | Location 175-178 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:33:35 AM

It is a safe rule, in morals as in physics, that no fact is without its use. Every observer and recorder is fulfilling a function; and no one observer or recorder ought to feel discouragement, as long as he desires to be useful rather than shining; to be the servant rather than the lord of science, and a friend to the home-stayers rather than their dictator.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 15 | Location 226-227 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:39:40 AM

To test the morals and manners of a nation by a reference to the essentials of human happiness, is to strike at once to the centre, and to see things as they are.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 30 | Location 532-537 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 6:51:26 AM

The traveller, being furnished with the philosophical requisites for the observation of morals and manners, 1stly. With a certainty of what it is that he wants to know,— 2ndly. With principles which may serve as a rallying point and test of his observations,— 3rdly. With, for instance, a philosophical and definite, instead of a popular and vague, notion about the origin of human feelings of right and wrong,— 4thly. And with a settled conviction that prevalent virtues and vices are the result of gigantic general influences,—is yet not fitted for his object if certain moral requisites be wanting in him.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 44 | Location 799-800 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 7:07:07 AM

The grand secret of wise inquiry into Morals and Manners is to begin with the study of THINGS, using the DISCOURSE OF PERSONS as a commentary upon them.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Note on page 46 | Location 842 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 7:26:41 AM

this author used  lot of long parallel in this book.

==========

How to Observe Morals and Manners (Martineau, Harriet)

- Your Highlight on page 45 | Location 808-842 | Added on Tuesday, December 27, 2016 7:26:42 AM

General indications must be looked for, instead of generalizations being framed from the manners of individuals. In cities, do social meetings abound? and what are their purposes and character? Are they most religious, political, or festive? If religious, have they more the character of Passion Week at Rome, or of a camp-meeting in Ohio? If political, do the people meet on wide plains to worship the Sun of the Celestial Empire, as in China; or in town-halls, to remonstrate with their representatives, as in England; or in secret places, to spring mines under the thrones of their rulers, as in Spain? If festive, are they most like an Italian carnival, where everybody laughs; or an Egyptian holiday, when all eyes are solemnly fixed on the whirling Dervishes? Are women there? In what proportions, and under what law of liberty? What are the public amusements? There is an intelligible difference between the opera at Milan, and the theatre at Paris, and a bull-fight at Madrid, and a fair at Leipzig, and a review at St. Petersburg.—In country towns, how is the imitation of the metropolis carried on? Do the provincials emulate most in show, in science, or in the fine arts?—In the villages, what are the popular amusements? Do the people meet to drink or to read, to discuss, or play games, or dance? What are the public houses like? Do the people eat fruit and tell stories? or drink ale and talk politics or call for tea and saunter about? or coffee and play dominoes? or lemonade and laugh at Punch? Do they crowd within four walls, or gather under the elm, or spread themselves abroad over the cricket-field or the yellow sands?—There is as wide a difference among the humbler classes of various countries as among their superiors in rank. A Scotch burial is wholly unlike the ceremonies of the funeral pile among the Cingalese; and an interment in the Greek church little resembles either. A conclave of White Boys in Mayo, assembled in a mud hovel on a heath, to pledge one another to their dreadful oath, is widely different from a similar conclave of Swiss insurgents, met in a pine wood on a steep, on the same kind of errand: and both are as little like as may be to the heroes of the last revolution in Paris, or to the companies of Covenanters that were wont to meet, under a similar pressure of circumstances, in the defiles of the Scottish mountains.—In the manners of all classes, from the highest to the lowest, are forms of manners enforced in action, or dismissed in words? Is there barbarous freedom in the lower, while there is formality in the higher ranks, as in newly settled countries? or have all grown up together to that period of refined civilization when ease has superseded alike the freedom of the Australian peasantry, and the etiquette of the court of Ava?—What are the manners of professional men of the society, from the eminent lawyer or physician of the metropolis down to the village barber? The manners of the great body of the professional men must indicate much of the requisitions of the society they serve.—So, also, must every circumstance connected with the service of society: its character, whether slavish or free, abject or prosperous, comprehensive or narrow in its uses, must testify to the desires and habits, and therefore to the manners of a community, better than the conversation or deportment of any individual in the society can do. A traveller who bears all this in mind can hardly go wrong. Every thing that he looks upon will instruct him, from an aqueduct to a punch-bowl, from a penitentiary to an aviary, from the apparatus of a university to the furniture of an alehouse or a nursery. When it was found that the chiefs of the Red men could not be impressed with any notion of the civilization of the Whites by all that many white men could say, they were brought into the cities of the Whites. The exhibition of a ship was enough for some. The warriors of the prairies were too proud to utter their astonishment,—too noble to hint, even to one another, their fear; but the perspiration stood on their brows as they dumbly gazed, and no word of war passed their lips from that hour. Another, who could listen with calmness to the tales of boastful traders in the wilderness, was moved from his apathy by seeing a workman in a glasshouse put a handle upon a pitcher. He was transported out of his silence and reserve: he seized and grasped the hand of the workman, crying out that it was now plain that he had had intercourse with the Great Spirit. By the evidence of things these Indians had learned more of the manners of the Whites than had ever been taught them by speech.—Which of us would not learn more of the manners of the Pompeians by a morning's walk among the relics of their abodes and public halls than by many a nightly conference with certain of their ghosts?

==========

One Year Off: Leaving It All Behind for a Round-the-World Journey with Our Children (Cohen, David Elliot)

Taking a year off and take 3 kids to travel around the world. This sounds fascinating. However, only those who did know knows how much drama would arise. As a frequent family traveler with three kids, I can related to many of the descriptions in the book: how the kids fight on the trip, how they love theme parks more than nature, how they learn about locals quickly, how they could get lost...

The author used quite humorous tone, sometimes by applying adjective that describes “human” to “stuff”:

“There, in a space the size of a modern sports arena, we were encompassed by an improbable admixture of stained glass, somber-faced Byzantine mosaics and thirty-foot golden shields inscribed with assertive Islamic calligraphy.”

Another example, “breathtaking” is a fun word to use here:

“Since Tokyo was the most expensive city we’d ever been to, we naturally began to fret. Our fears were well founded, because the prices in Zürich were simply breathtaking. “

Sometimes using irony:

This isn’t to say that Istanbul is perfect. The food, while generally cheap, is also generally awful, and every tourist attraction in the city is plagued by aggressive touts who pester you incessantly with little toys and other assorted crap. I also noted, with some irony, that this is conceivably the worst place on earth to buy a Turkish rug or any other fakable item of value. Plus, it’s impossible to wander the streets of this city without that damned song, “Istanbul (not) Constantinople,” rattling around in your head all day.

==========

This story of expensive but not-usable Zurich food is hilarious:

Happy to have some free food in Zurich, I downed the ravioli and said, “Danke. That was very good.” “Now you buy zome,” she replied. It was more a command than an invitation, and I found her German accent intimidating.

==========

How he uses Lenin to illustrate how expensive Zurich is is funny...

==========

Zurich is a lovely, prosperous city of stately buildings and meticulous streets set on a picturesque Alpine lake. It is surrounded by tidy farms, emerald-green meadows, and snow-capped mountain peaks. The trains run on time. The museums are impressive, and everything else generally seems to function perfectly. If you happen to have excess funds, I’m sure you would enjoy shopping for Fabergé eggs, Montblanc pens, and other fabulously expensive gewgaws in the posh Bahnhofstrasse shops. And you can certainly get a superb meal here for the price of a used car. Still, it’s easy to see why Lenin, while living in Zurich, dedicated his life to toppling the capitalist system. And I have to say that this is the only city in the world where we were cheered to see graffiti. If your family is on any kind of budget whatsoever—or if you prefer vacationing some place that isn’t defined by money and decorum—you might want to give Zurich a pass. Believe me, no one here will miss you.

==========

This seems to be a great place to be:

==========

Devi and I climbed onto the Galata Bridge to get a better view of the old district. We turned in time to see a crescent moon rise above the sixteenth-century Mosque of Süleyman the Magnificent. For one perfect instant, we stood under the stars at the crossroads of Asia and Europe, Islam and Christendom—a place of great deeds, deep intrigues, and grand illusions. If there is a more fascinating, more romantic spot on earth, we’ve yet to find it.

==========

In the end, the author mentioned the “occupational hazard of memoir writing”:

“That was, of course, awkward, and it points out an occupational hazard of memoir writing. Editors and publishers want you to tell all—as humorously or as dramatically as possible.38 But the subjects of your “true story,” are sometimes hurt in the process. As I reread One Year Off in preparation for this ebook edition, I regret some of my “humorous characterizations”—particularly one or two where the subject has since passed away. Fortunately, my children—the likeliest candidates for this sort of mortification at the hands of their father—don’t really mind how they were characterized. They all read One Year Off as teenagers, and they seemed to enjoy the book immensely.”

This is also why I felt it is hard to write non-fiction.

The end of his marriage was sad:

The very last words I wrote in One Year Off, twelve years ago, were: “Of course if you do manage to spend twenty-four hours a day with your spouse for a year and live to tell the tale, then I think you can assume that your marriage is on very solid ground.” I regret to report that I was wrong about that. In 2003—six years after we returned from the journey and almost exactly seventeen years to the day after we married—Devi and I divorced.

I’m glad he’s living happily now and have inspired many families:

Over the last twelve years, more than three hundred families have emailed me (davidelliotcohen@gmail.com), saying that they took—or would soon take—a One Year Off–type trip. And that’s just the folks who bothered to write.

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

Leave a normal but happier life, through a one year project: one theme per month. This is different from other one-year project that takes off a year to travel, or switch to a different job in one year. The author also started small: from sleeping better and exercise from the first month, gradually move to “harder” topics like be mindful etc.

What genre is this book, memoir or practical/self-help book? For the author, it might be memoir, for the reader, it’s more of a practical book with self-help “instructions”. The author included many facts of her research when she does the projects, which are useful for the readers.

Another device, other than the research facts, the author used is her social network, blog comments from her readers. She used it expand the material of the book. It also looks like she get happier through that too.

- Your Note on page 141 | Location 2572 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:13:30 PM

How to make new friends with a targeted number? Thinking about that makes me feel depressed.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 141 | Location 2564-2572 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:13:30 PM

JUNE Make Time for Friends FRIENDSHIP       Remember birthdays.   Be generous.   Show up.   Don’t gossip.   Make three new friends.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Note on page 146 | Location 2645 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:18:02 PM

shows she is organized in your projrct.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 145 | Location 2640-2645 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:18:02 PM

To do a better job of “Being generous,” I had to reflect on the nature of generosity. Giving presents is one way to be generous, but taking a box of chocolates to a dinner party wasn’t the answer for me. I don’t begrudge spending money on friends, but I dislike shopping. I didn’t want to create more errands for myself. So, okay. I don’t like to shop or do errands, but what could I do, within the confines of my own nature, to be generous? I needed to cultivate generosity of spirit. So I looked for other strategies. I hit on a few: “Help people think big,” “Bring people together,” “Contribute in my way,” and “Cut people slack.”

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 147 | Location 2660-2665 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:19:14 PM

As I was trying to stay alert for ways to “Help people think big,” I had an enormous happiness breakthrough: my Second Splendid Truth. I’m not sure why it took me so long to see this plainly, because I’d understood the principles involved for a long time, but there was a circularity to these ideas that confused me. At last, one June morning, it came clear: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 147 | Location 2672-2673 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:20:26 PM

As Simone Weil observed, “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” That’s true no matter who is performing that real good.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 148 | Location 2674-2678 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:20:52 PM

Also, the Second Splendid Truth underscores the fact that striving to be happy isn’t a selfish act. After all, one of the main reasons that I set out to become happier in the first place was that I figured I’d have an easier time behaving myself properly if I felt less anxious, irritated, resentful, and angry; when I reflected on the people I knew, the happier people were more kind, more generous, and more fun. By being happy myself, I’d help make other people happy. And vice versa. “Do good, feel good; feel good, do good.”

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 148 | Location 2679-2683 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:21:24 PM

Bring People Together. My children’s literature reading group and my writers’ strategy group showed me that another way to be generous was to “Bring people together.” Studies show that extroverts and introverts alike get a charge out of connecting with others; also, because people are sources of information and resources for one another, if you help bring people together, you provide them with new sources of support.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 157 | Location 2828-2831 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:28:45 PM

Having a numerical goal seemed artificial at first, but it changed my attitude from “Do I like you? Do I have time to get to know you?” to “Are you someone who will be one of my three friends?” Somehow this shift made me behave differently: it made me more open to people; it prompted me to make the effort to say more than a perfunctory hello. Of course, “being friends” means different things in different stages of life.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 158 | Location 2841-2842 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:29:42 PM

Smile more frequently.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 158 | Location 2845-2845 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:29:52 PM

Actively invite others to join a conversation.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 158 | Location 2847-2848 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:30:01 PM

Create a positive mood.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 158 | Location 2853-2853 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:30:16 PM

Open a conversation.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 158 | Location 2856-2856 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:30:26 PM

Try to look accessible and warm.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 159 | Location 2860-2862 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:30:43 PM

Show a vulnerable side and laugh at yourself. Show a readiness to be pleased.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 159 | Location 2864-2865 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:31:06 PM

Follow others’ conversational leads.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 159 | Location 2868-2868 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:31:15 PM

Ask questions.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Note on page 163 | Location 2945 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:33:31 PM

great examples!

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 163 | Location 2938-2945 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:33:31 PM

It was amusing to see that some people’s commandments directly contradicted other people’s commandments, but I could envision how different people would benefit from opposing advice:        Just say yes.        Just say no.        Do it now.        Wait.        One thing at a time.        Do everything all at once.        Always strive to do your best.        Remember the 80/20 rule.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 165 | Location 2968-2975 | Added on Thursday, December 22, 2016 8:37:08 PM

JULY Buy Some Happiness MONEY       Indulge in a modest splurge.   Buy needful things.   Spend out.   Give something up.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 166 | Location 2989-2990 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 6:03:45 AM

Prosperity allows us to turn our attention to more transcendent matters—to yearn for lives not just of material comfort but of meaning, balance, and joy.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 170 | Location 3053-3055 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 7:36:31 AM

The First Splendid Truth holds that to think about happiness, we should think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Money is most important for happiness in the “feeling bad” category. People’s biggest worries include financial anxiety, health concerns, job insecurity, and having to do tiring and boring chores. Spent correctly, money can go a long way to solving these problems.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 194 | Location 3456-3462 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 7:39:54 AM

AUGUST Contemplate the Heavens ETERNITY       Read memoirs of catastrophe.   Keep a gratitude notebook.   Imitate a spiritual master.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 197 | Location 3513-3516 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:48:37 AM

As a consequence of reading these accounts, I found myself with a greatly heightened appreciation for my ordinary existence. Everyday life seems so permanent and unshakable—but, as I was reminded by these writers, it can be destroyed by a single phone call. One memoir after another started with a recitation of the specific moment when a person’s familiar life ended forever.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 200 | Location 3558-3559 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:50:56 AM

Several people shared their own versions of a one-sentence journal.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 203 | Location 3606-3609 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:51:56 AM

But I find it hard to stay in a grateful frame of mind—I take things for granted, I forget what other people have done for me, I have high expectations. To cure this, following the advice repeated by many happiness experts, I started a gratitude notebook. Each day, I noted three things for which I was grateful. Usually I logged my gratitude entries at the same time that I made my daily notes in my one-sentence journal. (These various tasks were making me happier, but they were also keeping me busier.)

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 203 | Location 3609-3616 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:52:47 AM

After keeping the notebook for a week, I noticed something: I never thought to mention some of the most important bases of my happiness. I took for granted that I lived in a stable, democratic society; that I could always count on my parents’ love, support, and general lack of craziness; the fact that I loved my work; the health of my children; the convenience of living right around the corner from my in-laws—not to mention the fact that I loved living right around the corner from my in-laws, a situation that many people might consider undesirable. I loved living in an apartment instead of a house: no yard work, no shoveling snow, no going outside to get the newspaper in the morning, no carrying out the trash. I was grateful that I would never again have to study for an exam or a standardized test. I tried to push myself to appreciate better the fundamental elements of my life, as well as the problems that I didn’t have.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 205 | Location 3640-3644 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:53:45 AM

But after two weeks of keeping a gratitude notebook, I realized that although gratitude boosts happiness, my gratitude notebook wasn’t having that effect anymore. It had started to feel forced and affected, and instead of putting me in a grateful frame of mind, it made me annoyed. Later, I read a study that suggested I might have had better luck with my gratitude notebook if I had kept it twice a week instead of every day; expressing gratitude less often seemed to keep it more meaningful. But by then I’d soured on the task. I gave it up.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 221 | Location 3925-3932 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:55:00 AM

Pursue a Passion BOOKS       Write a novel.   Make time.   Forget about results.   Master a new technology.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 222 | Location 3941-3944 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:57:01 AM

Long ago, I read the writer Dorothea Brande’s warning that writers are too inclined to spend their time on wordy occupations like reading, talking, and watching TV, movies, and plays. Instead, she suggested, writers should recharge themselves with language-free occupations like listening to music, visiting museums, playing solitaire, or taking long walks alone.

==========

The Happiness Project (Revised Edition): Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Rubin, Gretchen)

- Your Highlight on page 235 | Location 4160-4167 | Added on Friday, December 23, 2016 10:57:36 AM

Pay Attention MINDFULNESS       Meditate on koans.   Examine True Rules.   Stimulate the mind in new ways.   Keep a food diary.

==========